Beware the Hipster Bigot

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Most of us are aware of the hipster—a herbivorous city dweller who prays on weaker civilians with their knowledge of obscure opinions on culture and politics. You’ll often find them in independent coffee shops, trending restaurants, or smoking menthol cigarettes outside of local thrift stores. 

However, there is a new type of hipster that has begun to emerge and I feel that it is my obligation to inform the world of it. This is the hipster bigot. 

What is a hipster bigot?

The hipster bigot is a creature that is similar to other bigots in that they often hate various races, cultures, or individuals that show some trivial commonalities which differ from their own. However, where the bigot is comfortable with common displays of bigotry, the hipster bigot finds these opinions too mainstream and lacking “culture” and “depth” in their intolerance. 

For example, a common American bigot may believe that Barack Obama was a Muslim, or that Mexican Americans are all criminals infiltrating the U.S., or that George W. Bush was a great president because he was white.

The hipster bigot, on the other hand, finds these views reprehensible due to their popularity and prefers to focus their intolerance on smaller groups with a more obscure history of marginalization. 

For instance, if you were to overhear a hipster bigot speaking about their views, you might hear some of these opinions mentioned:

  • “The influx of Pacific Islanders to the U.S. is causing good, hard-working Americans to lose jobs in L&L BBQ restaurants across the nation.”
  • “Eastern European Immigration policies in U.S. Territories such as Guam need to be given much more attention by congress.”
  • “The President needs to focus our nation’s resources on building a wall on the Canadian border before we tackle the Mexican border.”
  • “Everyone talks about ‘Blue Lives Matter,’ but the real issue is the ‘Red Lives Matter’ movement and how violence towards Mexican Americans by Firefighters is overblown by the liberal media.”
  • “Bernie Sanders is actually a polish citizen named Berntolmiej Sandezmir and has no place in congress.”

As one can see from the above opinions, hipster bigots still hold beliefs filled with ignorance and hate, yet they tend to additionally have a tone of pretension and superiority in the way that they dismiss mainstream bigotry for similarly bigoted views with little to no relevance or significance.

What can be done about hipster bigots?

Unfortunately, the answer to that question is somewhat unclear. As with most bigots, their opinions will only ever be reinforced by our vocalized dissent.

This is still the case with the hipster bigots, however, the additional layer of irony cloaking their bigoted beliefs creates an almost impenetrable wall of pretension and ignorance. Although the irony of their own views might be clear to the rest of us, it is nearly impossible for us to ever communicate this to them. 

Some have said that the best rule of thumb for dealing with hipster bigots is to avoid them whenever possible. Sometimes, however, this is not an option and when this is the case it’s helpful to stick to relatively safe topics of conversation such as the weather or cooking. Remember—trying to assuage their bigotry by agreeing with them on obscure, bigoted opinions will only spawn more obscure, similarly intolerant opinions which if agreed on will in turn spawn even more obscure ignorance. 

Although it is unclear at this time how to prevent the spread of hipster bigotry on a larger scale, some have suggested that the trend may actually address itself as the phenomenon grows due to the nature of the problem. They believe that as these obscure or “independent” bigoted beliefs become mainstream, they will lose their irony and therefore, appeal. One can only hope that this is the case. 

In the meantime, I hope that this article sheds some light on the important aspects of this emerging phenomenon, and hopefully provides some useful tactics for dealing with the hipster bigot in daily life. The most important thing to remember is that we are all in this together and if we work hard, we can overcome the annoyance of their pretentious bigotry. Stay strong. 

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